


Biting off more than you can chew

by YoureMySunshine



Series: The List [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: But lots of sex talk, Crack, Demisexuality, Discussion of Canterbury, Food Kink, M/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25431469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoureMySunshine/pseuds/YoureMySunshine
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale are attempting food play. They succeed in eating food.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: The List [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842034
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	Biting off more than you can chew

Aziraphale pulled the dish out of the freezer and examined it critically. He had made ice cream and whipped cream, which he and Crowley were planning on using in the bedroom later that day. He checked the temperature, and found it correct. Then he took out a spoon to test the flavor, and took a bite while thinking about their last experiment with food play…

* * *

Crowley and Aziraphale had been in bed, and were trying to spice things up with a little miracled food. Crowley leaned over Aziraphale, grinned, and snapped. Cherry sauce had appeared on Aziraphale’s chest. Crowley seductively began licking it off, and then leaned up to kiss Aziraphale.

“Oh yuck,” said Aziraphale, pushing away Crowley’s face, “That is the worst cherry flavor I have ever tasted. When did you last eat a real cherry, my dear?”

Crowley spluttered, “I eat! There’re cherries in drinks sometimes! I eat those!”

“Those aren’t fresh, proper cherries, though,” pouted Aziraphale. “I only like the ones that are dark red, and already pitted. Do you remember the ones at Canterbury? Oh, you can buy a pound of them for a pound, and they’re so sweet, and juicy.” Aziraphale flashed puppy eyes at Crowley. “Miracled food just isn’t the same.”

“Hmm. Aziraphale, would you like to go to Canterbury? You can show me these cherries, and I can buy you some drinks. We’ll get smashed and reminisce about Becket. What a prat he was,” said Crowley.

Aziraphale was already clean and dressed, and he pulled Crowley off the bed with him. “Yes, my dear, that sounds lovely. Although if you want to talk about prats, that Henry character was a mistake. I always wondered if you’d done something to him.”

“Done something to him?” said Crowley, pulling his keys from his re-formed jeans, “Why, I never…”

* * *

_Those cherries really were excellent,_ thought Aziraphale. _But we’d been planning on popping some other cherries that day. Well at least it was better than the previous time…_

* * *

Chris at the sex shop workers had been very friendly. They provided edible underwear, flavored lube, and a list of warnings on what food absolutely should not go near certain parts of the body. Although Aziraphale and Crowley could miracle away any problems, they took these warnings to heart.

Crowley was wearing the edible underwear underneath his skinny jeans, and the two were kissing on the couch, when they ran into a slight problem. Namely, Crowley’s jeans were too tight to come off.

“Angel, please, let me just miracle them,” groaned Crowley.

“No, I can get them off, just a minute, dear,” huffed Aziraphale, pulling harder on the jeans.

Once the jeans were off, they took a five-minute breather before Aziraphale sat back up.

“Now, let me try to nibble on you, my dear. You do look simply scrumptious,” he said.

Crowley laid back, very excited to get on with it, when Aziraphale licked for the first time. “Oh dear,” he said, “This is a very artificial flavor.”

Crowley looked at him incredulously. “Yeah? What, did you expect bloody five-star cooking for edible underwear?”

“Well. I expected it would at least be _edible_. Such a flavor. I’m afraid I can’t go on. This just does _not_ pair with the taste of you at all. I’m sure I’ve got a lovely champagne here that would pair nicely. But I simply must eat something better to get the taste of that out of my mouth. Do you mind terribly if we stop here?” Aziraphale asked.

“Sure, go ahead,” said Crowley, “If it’s not doing it for you, we’ll try something else next time.”

Aziraphale made his way over to the take out menus, “I’m ordering in. Good Lord. Edible underwear indeed. Would you like Italian? I’m craving breadsticks.”

Crowley let his head thunk back into the wall, and miracled the underwear into the middle of the ocean. Let the fish eat it. Although, now, he could watch his Angel eat. That was just as good as anything else they were getting up to, so he wasn’t put out. They should probably throw out the flavored lube, though, if this was how Aziraphale would react to artificial flavors.

* * *

Aziraphale morosely ate another bite of the ice-cream he’d made. It tasted better than his previous attempt at cooking for their little games. Although they decided to avoid savory – remembering their previous brush with onions – he had attempted to make little ham and cheese croissants, which Crowley was normally fond of. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the best cook, and had done something to toughen the meat considerably. Crowley just made puns about “overbeating your meat” for the entire night. Furthermore, when they had got down to it, Aziraphale only wanted to eat with a fork and knife, and Crowley didn’t want any silverware going near any delicate bits. When Aziraphale pulled out the cloth napkins, Crowley laughed so hard that the entire thing was a wash.

Even attempting to pair that champagne with Crowley didn’t turn out well. They both liked the taste of it so much that they got very drunk, and ended the night giggling over Crowley’s latest mischief.*

Still, Aziraphale loved food, and Crowley loved to watch him eat. They did hope that this would be something they could enjoy. Sex was a fun hobby, and finding new ways to play together was something they found very satisfying. This ice cream was the last attempt before they move on to something else.

Unfortunately, Aziraphale realized that he had eaten most of it. He looked at the clean bowl in despair, and then realized that Crowley was in the kitchen with him, staring with his mouth slightly open.

“Oh, my dear, I’m sorry, I got quite lost in the moment. Miracled food never tastes as good, but we could… try again… tomorrow,” Aziraphale trailed off as he saw the intense look in Crowley’s eyes. “How long have you been watching me?” he asked.

Crowley swayed into the room, getting up in Aziraphale’s space. “I’ve been here for a while, Angel.” He ran his finger around the empty bowl, scooping up the remaining ice cream. “I saw you enjoying yourself.” He brought the finger to Aziraphale’s lips. “And I liked it.” Crowley’s eyes were very dark as Aziraphale caught the last drop from his finger. “I ah. Lost track of things. Now how about we forget about bringing food anywhere it doesn’t belong, and focus on enjoying what’s in front of us?” he asked.

Aziraphale looked into Crowley’s eyes. “You’re right,” he sighed. “I certainly want what’s in front of me.”

Crowley leaned forward, but Aziraphale reached around him and grabbed a bowl of strawberries. “Feed them to me, my dear?” he asked with a smile. “I agree, let’s leave food out of all love making from now on.”

Crowley looked at Aziraphale, and then took the bowl from him. “Let me spoil you, Angel,” he responded, kissing him on the cheek.

After all, that was all that either one of them really wanted. Spending time together, enjoying themselves, was the goal. No need to force unnecessary complications into their relationship. 

**Author's Note:**

> *Sending more accurate pornography up to heaven. Gabriel’s postbox and the coffers of the sex-shop next door were both getting rather bloated.
> 
> My notes for this one were, “Aziraphale is fussy about food, but when he likes something Crowley just goes ‘hnnng pretty Angel eats’. Thank you to everyone for your kind comments on "Giving it a Shot," you inspired me to write this!


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